Friday 5 April 2013

Satire: Nitish panics at the mention of high growth in Bihar


 

Just as Gujarat CM Narendra Modi is allergic to questions regarding the 2002 Gujarat riots, any references to Bihar's prosperity and economic development seem to get under the skin of Nitish Kumar, his rival for the nation's top job.

The Bihar CM, who has been demanding special status for Bihar from the Centre, recently walked out of a press meet in Patna in a huff after one of the scribes repeatedly highlighted Bihar's prosperity and advancement.

Nitish was waxing eloquent on why Bihar is extremely backward when, much to his chagrin, Mihir Jha, a reporter from Patna Times, flagged 'feel good' news such as the high growth rate, improvement in law and order, and enhancement of public infrastructure achieved under the JD(U) regime. Nitish at first ignored the pesky reporter but when he kept pressing the issue, the Bihar CM lost his cool and stormed out.

"Here I am breaking my back trying to explain in all earnestness how much Bihar sucks and this dude comes along and makes highly provocative statements like this. All my hard work on showcasing Bihar's backwardness today came undone," an irate Nitish wailed as the meet's organisers tried to cajole him to resume his interaction.

The offending journalist immediately apologised for his effrontery. "I was merely trying to point out the achievements of Nitishji, but I realize it was in bad taste given how grim conditions in Bihar are. I apologise if I have offended him with my insensitive statements," he said.

After being assured that he wouldn't be asked to talk about the positive aspects of the Bihar story, Nitish returned to the podium and proceeded to wow the audience with a mind-blowing PPT presentation replete with dismal statistics such as "the number of people below the poverty line in Bihar increased by 5 million between 2005 and 2010", "58% of Bihar's children below age six are underweight", and "48% of Bihar's workers earn their livelihood through casual labour".

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